I once loved…

Love affairs are secret burdens you carry for the rest of your life. If you are lucky circumstances change and you can talk about it, express it to someone. If they don’t, you’ll keep a secret that hunts you every now and then.
Now affairs are private matters, no one expects people to talk about them. However, on certain occasions the whole public becomes interested in individual’s private affairs. This becomes a very complicated situation.
One affair I was very interested in was that of Ebrahim Golestan and Forough Farrokhzad. The fact of the matter is, as much as Golestan does not want to talk about his relations with Forough everything private about the affair is reflected in Forough’s poetry. Everyone knows that Golestan’s “Fountain sings silvery songs in the mornings.” Everyone knows that Golestan and Forough have “sinned” a luscious sin.
Now why would he not want to talk about this very public affair? I was doing research on Forough’s female psyche and I mailed Golestan a set of questions hoping that he’d answer. He did not. I sent him one more impolite mail, calling him a self-centered old fart who had pleasure of loving an extraordinary woman and who is not willing to share.
Somehow, I am not telling you how, I know the answer. I think Golestan really believes that he has sinned. This I can not understand. If I ever had an affair with someone as miraculous as Forough, I’d be obsessing about it all the time. Maybe Golestan is hunted by his past in solitude; maybe he is obsessed by this love in seclusion.